Ah, so we’ve finally hit April and our election season is almost in full swing. Soon we’ll be subjected to a barrage of impassioned political opinions of those who either sing, act, or bounce a ball for a living. So what does this mean? It means it’s time to unveil Punching the Left’s first ever…
Top Twelve Celebrity Liberal Countdown!
Okay, so why top twelve?
Well, one, because 2012 is the year we’re going to save our nation from our corrupt presidential regime, and, two, because a list of ten simply isn’t big enough to adequately represent the flood of celebrity liberal talent out there.
Now, putting this list together was a lot tougher than I thought it would be. The quantity and quality of celebrity liberals running around our nation is staggering so I created “Punching the Left’s Set of Celebrity Liberal Standards” to help me not only decide which celebrities would make this list, but to also rank them accordingly. Take a look.
Punching the Left’s Celebrity Liberal Standards:
a) How outspoken is the celebrity liberal?
Does the celebrity liberal in question make a constant nuisance of himself or does he simply mouth off once in a blue moon and then quietly go back to fantasy land?
b) What is the level of the celebrity liberal’s hypocrisy?
Essentially, how successfully does the celebrity liberal employ a ‘do as I say, not as I do’ philosophy towards the meager non celebrities whom toil across the nation in order to make the celebrity liberal’s existence possible? This is a cornerstone for celebrity liberalism and is possibly the most carefully considered factor.
c) What is the celebrity liberal’s current level of popularity?
A crucial element. The celebrity liberal must meet a certain level of relevance in their given field. This is why a professional agitator such as Spike Lee (despite his recently spectacular celebrity liberal performance during the Trayvon Martin shooting) does not appear on this list.
d) Do I for see the celebrity liberal as having staying power?
Not an overwhelming factor, but something I consider in the case of a tie breaker between to celebrity liberals to either make the list or claim a higher ranking.
e) X Factor: Does the celebrity liberal in question just make you want to smack you forehead and say ‘damn, that is one annoying celebrity liberal’?
Aside from the Celebrity Liberal Standards here are some additional criteria that needed to be met:
-Those directly involved with politics are not eligible for this ranking. If I did that then we’d have the same top five every week and what fun would that be?
- Those who have at one time held a prominent office in politics are also not eligible. Now, granted, Al Gore has evolved into a tremendous celebrity liberal thanks to his wildly successful directorial debut of the planet melting/planet freezing laugh riot “An Inconvenient Truth”, however, rules are rules and Al doesn’t make the cut.
-As of now, traditional “anchors” on any of the major news media outlets do not qualify. So please don’t send me angry questions asking me why neither Piers Morgan or Keith Olberman are on the list. However…
-…someone who uses his or her celebrity to get themselves a “talk show” on one of those networks or those hosting pseudo news programs on say HBO or The Comedy Channel do qualify. So you can look forward to seeing some not-so-friendly faces from there.
Barbara Streisand, Jane Fonda, Bono of U2, and Rosie O’Donnell will not appear on these lists. They have already achieved celebrity liberal immortality and will all be receiving Punching the Left Celebrity Liberal Lifetime Achievement Awards later this summer.
So with the ground rules out of the way…
Welcome to Punching the Left’s first ever edition of America’s Top Twelve Celebrity Liberal Countdown!
Honorable Mention: The Miami Heat
Obscenely spoiled athletes? Check. A pompous stance on an incident they clearly don’t understand? Check. An urge to smash my computer into a thousand itty bitty pieces? Check.
Well done, boys.
Putting Ms. Garafalo (I didn’t research her relationship status, because frankly, I don’t want to know) in this spot is somewhat bittersweet for me. From the mid-nineties through the early 2000s Jenaene was a true powerhouse of celebrity liberalism. Her incessant whining about all things from “America being founded on a sham” to the horrors of how women’s magazines tend to place attractive looking female models on their covers more than helped elevate her above the standard celebrity liberal crowd.
In fact, at times, her deranged anger ran so deep that she actually crossed over into the morbidly scary world of the left-wing, an accomplishment seldom seen by celebrity liberals. Unfortunately, this type of leftism, along with her dogmatic feminist views and almost complete lack of marketability forced the sex and money soaked liberal bastion of Hollywood to eventually tell Janeane to take her thick-rimmed glasses and go find a another town to pitch her black-cloud coffee house act to.
However, Garafalo rebounded nicely by successfully parlaying her militant finger pointing into numerous appearances on HBO’s post 9-11 weekly train wreck “Real Time With Bill Maher” where she captivated Bill Maher’s whooping audiences by describing her hatred for George W. Bush and American society in ways that most liberals could only dream of.
Although this didn’t do anything to help her acting or comedic career, it did help keep her status alive as the misanthropic darling of the lib media for a few extra years before they’d also finally had enough of her and decided to go out and find another angry starlet who was not quite as bitter and possibly a little more attractive.
Garafalo‘s gloomy star began to truly fade after that. However, she did manage to make a bit of a comeback in 2009 when she started going on the shows of anyone who would still return her phone calls to reveal such precious gems as this quote concerning the Tea Party activists.
“Let’s be very honest about what this is about. This is not about bashing Democrats. It’s not about taxes. They have no idea what the Boston Tea party was about. They don’t know their history at all. It’s about hating a black man in the White House…This is racism straight up and is nothing but a bunch of teabagging rednecks. There is no way around that.”
-Janeane Garafalo, American historian, celebrity mind reader, and Hollywood vulgarian.
Unfortunately, these comments did not gain nearly as much traction as they once would have. A clear and possibly final indicator that Janene’s best days were now behind her. However, anything is possible during this election year, and you never know, if she can coax her longtime friend and fellow celebrity liberal, Ben Stiller, to throw her a role or two, she may stick around long enough to not only reappear on, but actually climb this list.
We’ll see what happens.
Up until this year, I would have considered Harrelson too much of a directionless flake to qualify for an exclusive list such as this. His career has always followed a sort of diagnal path, and other than an obsession with marijuana, getting into fights with the locals in Costa Rica, and demonstrating the maturity level of a spastic six year old, he’s never shown the true level of celebrity liberal focus to qualify for an honor such as this.
However, thanks to his leading role in HBO’s Game Change, Woody makes a fairly stunning debut at the number eleven spot. And as if playing John McCain’s frustrated campaign manager in a movie that bent over backwards to degrade Sarah Palin wasn’t enough, Harrelson further cemented his celebrity liberal status by unleashing this wonderfully thoughtless quote after the premier of Game Change, saying that “Republicans make him weep for humanity.” This type of profound stupidity along with his role in the obnoxiously over-hyped mega hit The Hunger Games, has placed him squarely on Punching the Left’s celebrity liberal radar.
Woody may be a wild card, but if he can keep his well documented goofiness in line long enough to maintain his rising Hollywood career then we may very well see the former Cheers bartender continue to climb these rankings in the near future.
Russell is an interesting celebrity liberal to grab the ten spot, and honestly, I didn’t really want to put him in this list. Why? Because other than being a shyster/rap media mogul type with the magnetism of a spoiled egg, he doesn’t seem to have any sort of discernible talent. Also, I’m not sure anyone outside of New York actually knows who he is.
Obvious limitations aside though, Russel’s singularly stunning accomplishment of celebrity liberalism this year involves his appearance along with Kanye West and Al Sharpton at Zuccotti Park to show his support for the shower deprived heathens of the Occupy Wall Street Movement. What makes this act of celebrity liberalism so remarkable is that besides being an unspeakably wealthy media mogul, Russel is also a debit card finance capitalist! This is what you call a seventy-yard Hail Mary touchdown pass of celebrity liberal hypocrisy, and because of it, I had no choice but to catapult Mr. Def Jam onto this list.
To all those small-time leftists lost in the Hollywood shuffle, Russel Simmons is inspiring proof that you don’t have to be talented, interesting, or even marginally charismatic to be a top twelve celebrity liberal.
The only time I’ve ever really liked watching Damon was when Brendan Fraser was beating the snot out of him in the shower scene in School Ties. He’s a one note actor and other than The Departed, I really haven’t liked any of his other movies (and that includes Good Will Hunting-there I said it!).
Regardless of my inherent biases, this list is not about me; it’s about the accomplishments of the celebrity liberal, and in that case, Damon deserves a healthy dose of respect.
So let’s take a look at a few of the relatively young actor’s accomplishments:
-In 2006, Matt “Man of the Fighting People” Damon went on to Chris Matthews Hardball and unveiled his thoughts on those who choose to serve our country:
“I don’t think that it’s fair as I said before, that it seems like we have a fighting class in our country that’s comprised of people who have to go for either financial reasons or, I don’t think that that is fair. And if you’re gonna send people to war, ahh, if, if we all get together and decide we need to go to war then that needs to be shared by everybody. You know, and if the President has daughters who are of age then maybe they should go, too.”
Most impressive. In just three barely coherent sentences, Damon manages to completely dismiss the patriotism of our soldiers, insinuate that America should re-institute the draft, and personally attack President Bush’s teenage daughters. A brilliant celebrity liberal quote.
-Starred in the shockingly anti-American 2010 movie ”Green Zone” where an American Army chief decides to commit gross insubordination against his own country when he “discovers” the Iraq war is based on a deceptive American lie. The movie then actually tries to get its audience to cheer when Damon and his new Iraqi buddies start shooting missiles at American helicopters. This is a staggering effort of celebrity liberalism and if the movie wasn’t a complete box office dud then Damon might very well be higher up on this list.
-Was trashed by Mark Levin in an epic rant. This is perhaps Damon’s greatest celebrity liberal accomplishment and I’ll let the video speak for itself.
-In 2011 was endorsed by Michael Moore to run for president. Let me repeat that, Michael Moore said Matt Damon should run for President of The United States!
Okay, I think I got it out of my system. Thanks.
-Spent a lot of time in 2011 attacking the Tea Party by calling them “insurgents” he also jumped on the ‘tax me more because I’m super wealthy bandwagon.’ I like this because it shows Damon’s willingness to beat a dead horse by ignorantly demonizing the Tea Party while at the same time demonstrating full awareness of the latest liberal trends, which in this case, is pretending you want your taxes raised in order to save the country. I think an 80% Hollywood Liberal tax sounds about right.
-Supported Occupy Wall Street, saying people were unhappy because they lacked a real leader. Damon then snapped off a stunning blast of celebrity liberalism by publicly declaring that ‘Obama lacked balls.’ (Special points were awarded to Damon here since it’s always a bonus when celebrity liberals turn on each other.)
Thus, as you can see -and whether I like it or not- these
idiotic brilliant acts of celebrity liberalism more than prove that Damon is a legit Hollywood agitator, and despite a current slump in box office appeal, a true threat to one day possibly fight his way into the top five of this list.
A historic pillar of celebrity liberalism and in his celebrity liberal prime, would have easily cracked the top three if not possibly even gracing the number one spot. I should point out as well that I had a difficult time deciding whether or not Damon should actually be the one to take the number eight spot, but in the end, Penn’s legendary body of celebrity liberal work is simply too impressive to rank him lower then the up and coming Damon.
Suffice it to say then that Penn’s celebrity liberal contributions are beyond stellar. A very small handful of his mind boggling acts include:
-Cozying up with murderous foreign dictators such as Hugo Chavez and Fidel Castro
-Calling President George W. Bush “a traitor of human and American principles”
-Accussing the Bush administration of criminal negligence during Hurricane Katrina
-Lying to Larry King about his heroic efforts during Hurrican Katriana, claiming he arrived there on day four, when in fact he didn’t arrive there until day seven when the amount of National Guard troops had grown to 27,000 and the Superdome had already been evacuted.
-Saying that he would trade FOX’s Bill O’Reilly for Osama Bin Laden
However, despite these awe inspiring/disturbingly irrational accomplishments, the sun on Penn’s self-important Hollywood career is setting and his crazed acts of celebrity liberalism simply don’t carry the migraine inducing weight they once did.
I’m not counting Penn out just yet though. When you’ve built a twenty-plus year career out of being inexplicably angry while being paid millions and millions of dollars to play make-believe for a living, you don’t go quietly. In fact, I think Penn still has the potential to stick around for a while, and who knows, he may even have a little top five celebrity liberal fight left in him.
For so long I saw Tom Hanks as just as a goofy nice guy. An unpretentious shmoe who’d made it to the top of Hollywood’s mountain of artificiality while displaying little to no political affiliation.
Boy oh boy was I wrong.
As it turns out, Hanks has in fact, operated for a number of years in a low-key, almost mafia don-like celebrity liberal manner, tossing around a tremendous amount of celebrity liberal weight in the Hollywood political underworld.
Impossible you say? Well, check out this perfectly executed celebrity liberal hit.
In 2010, Time Magazine published a gushing piece about Hanks as he was promoting his 10-part HBO mini-series, Pacific. During the interview, Hanks revealed that our war with the Japanese was due to us seeing them as “yellow, slant-eyed dogs that believed in different gods.” Oddly enough, despite all of the research I’ve done about World War II, which included an excellent twelve week class I took on the subject, I don’t recall ever learning this golden liberal nugget of information. And to think all this time I’d been led to believe that our fight with the Japanese was due to them being a brutally imperialistic nation who had allied with a little group of trouble makers called the NAZIS. This quote alone may very well have been enough to qualify Tom Hanks for this list.
However, Tom has proved capable of so much more. And his love affair with our current president is what truly garners him his number seven ranking. In fact, in 2008, Hanks had already begun lecturing the nation of movie going peasants with this video endorsement of, at the time, the Democratic presidential nominee and future bringer of change, Barack Obama.
Hanks followed up his little sermon in 2010 when he went onto Joe “sell out” Scarbourough’s MSNBC show “Morning Joe”
to unleash to offer this reassuring praise about our fourth-forth president.
And in 2011, Mr. Hanks decided to go onto CNN to share with us his thoughts on the unquestionable success of Obama’s term so far:
“If you would have told me a few years ago that ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ would be repealed and about a billion jobs at General Motors and Chrysler would have been saved because the president was smart enough and strong enough and bold enough to do so, I would have said, ‘Wow. That’s a good president, I think I’ll vote for him again.’”
-Tom Hanks, military expert and numerically challenged supporter of automotive jobs.
This then brings us to just last Thursday when the President’s re-election campaign released a 17-minute glorification documentary of Obama’s first term in office and is directed by Academy Award winner David Guggenheim and narrated by…that’s right, Tom Hanks.
Without question, these are the contributions of a seriously heavy-hitting celebrity liberal. Furthermore, I now realize what a fool I’ve been to underestimate the actor who once so convincingly starred as a middle aged man with the mind of an eleven year old.
Well played, Mr. Hanks. Well played.
I’ll tell you right now that Joy Behar may be pound for career pound the most terrifying celebrity liberal force on this panel. In fact, if she ever did anything that was actually any good she would be in the top three on this list, no questions asked. And yet, the fact that Behar has done very little outside of entertain a legion of yentas who religiously watch her daily shriek fest, The View, speaks even more highly of her level of celebrity liberalism.
So here’s a quick composite of some of Behar‘s contributions to celebrity liberalism:
-Stomped off the set of The View when Fox host Bill O’Reilly suggested there was a gulf between President Obama and the American people.
-Harassed Senator John McCain on her show in 2008 as to why he didn’t stick up for Hilary Clinton when a random McCain supporter referred to Mrs. C as a b*itch. Behar then spent two days in 2010 calling Nevada conservative Republican a b*itch and followed that up by calling conservative commentator, Michelle Malkin, a “selfish b*tch.”
-Declared Sarah Palin’s fan base as ‘illiterate’.
-Explained to African-American and former Republican presidential nominee candidate, Herman Cain, that the “Republican party hasn’t been very black friendly over the many centuries of this country.”
How many centuries of this country has there been?
-Accused Donald Trump of racism when he went on The View to question whether or not Barack Obama had been born in the United States despite serious evidence he wasn’t.
-Gushed over Obama’s January, 2012 State of the Union Speech saying it was the equivalent of Ronald Reagan’s “Morning in America” speech and that Republicans can now embrace Obama.
Despite these wonderfully excrutiating acts of celebrity liberalism, whether or not Joy (the mention of whose name ironically makes most people miserable) will be able to crack the celebrity liberal top five is unknown. Her total lack of charisma/talent most likely precludes her from any significant movie or fiction based television opportunities (aside from the nonsensical fiction she blurts out on The View) but we will see. A psychotic cartoon character like her doesn’t come along every day and I wouldn’t bet against her ability to bludgeon her way up this list in the near future.
Alright. Now we’re cooking. It’s no joke to make it into the inagural Punching the Left Celebrity Liberal Top Five and Jon Stewart is just the man to kick it off.
What Jon lacks in sheer liberal abrasiveness, he more than makes up for with skin crawling, ivy league smugness. You see, Jon is smart. Very smart. In fact he’s so smart that the complete lack of substance to his left of center wise cracks becomes irrelevant in the eyes of the drooling, stridently hip media and critics who adore him. From his heavy handed facial expressions to his ridiculous attempts to actually try and portray himself as an objective voice of the news, Jon’s smartness circumvents the efforts of anyone who ever attempts to challenge just how smart he really is. In fact, I feel smarter just writing about him.
So let’s take a look at some of Jon Stewart’s exceedingly smart, celebrity liberal accomplishments:
-Has attacked FOX News on numerous occasions as being a “relentless agenda-driven 24-hour news opinion propaganda delivery system” (as opposed to the comedy channel which only delivers propaganda when Stewart is on the air).
-Declared FOX’s Chris Wallace “insane” when he expressed his view that Stewart confuses comedy with political commentary. An excellent tactic as I also accuse anyone who ever questions me as being insane.
-Ridiculed Herman Cain in a racially mocking way that only a world class celebrity liberal can get away with.
-Laments how he’s dissapointed that Obama is not more of a dictator, saying:
“I’m surprised at how much he deferred to the legislative process. He’s accomplished some things, and I’m sure he’s pleased with what he’s done, but I would have preferred to see something a little bit more transformative.”
-Jon “I’m a genius but I still like to be told what to do” Stewart
This falls perfectly in line with how other celebrity liberals seem to worship charismatic foreign tyrants, and yet, Jon one ups them all by openly wishing the President of the United States was more of a tyrant. A shrewd celebrity liberal move.
-Rips the Republican nominees on a nightly basis while never, ever, ever, backing his one liners up with anything that resembles intellectual honesty.
All in all, Stewart is a sleek, dapper, charming smarty pants. Unfortunately, for the Columbia University grad, smirky school boy smarts will only get you so far and although he’s a legit top five celebrity liberal, it will take something more for him to one day move up this list. It will take an unrepentent, bullying, unholy nastiness that allows him to catapult himself from the cardboard set of The Daily Show to that of world class celebrity liberalism.
This then brings us to…
Right off the bat, I’m sure many of you are wondering why Michael Moore is only #4. His body of hypocritical celebrity work is unmatched, his level of nastiness unparalled, and boy is he monster movie ugly.
I know I don’t really have to list Moore’s accomplishments here. But simply put, the man revolutonized celebrity liberalism with his ability to take a very serious issue, shamefully manipulate the facts (or just outright change them), perform a bunch of hatchet job interviews, tie it all up with some ‘it’s so crappy looking it must be real’ hand held camera work, and then, boom, sell it to the pseudo socialist Hollywood crowd as a devestatingly witty, take no prisoners, documentary. Throw in a three million dollar Manhattan penthouse and a 10,000 square foot, 2 million dollar mansion on Torch Lake in Michigan and you have a man who is not only a celebrity liberal superstar, but, a true celebrity liberal icon.
…celebrity liberalism is a young man’s game, and other than the recent sightings of Moore hovering among the Occupy Wall Street crowd like a menacingly leftist Rose Bowl float, Michael really hasn’t done all that much recently. In fact, with the ever increasing level of competition out there, the former king of celebrity liberalism will soon have to once again raise his game in order to maintain his prestigious top five status.
Ah, Mr. Clooney, the smoothly sinister one. While others can always see a colossal blowhard like Michael Moore coming, the star of the hyper glamorous Ocean’s Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen…whatever, movies chooses to play it cool. His numerous appearances on the covers of Men’s magazines such as Esquire and Vanity Fair, his love of premium class vodka, his palatial eighteenth century villa in Italy, and the inordiante amount of time he spends hocking his services over seas, has allowed this generation’s Cary Grant to subversively carry out a magnificent amount of celebrity liberalism while at the same time embodying the level of fabulous wealth that is needed to be among the very elite of celebrity liberals.
Here are some of the Mr. Clooney’s finest celebrity liberal moments:
-To ABC News “I’m disilussioned by people who are dissalusioned with Obama.”
Not only a gut wrenching celebrity liberal comment but a metaphysical fortune cookie as well.
-Getting himself arrested at the Sudanese Embassy.
How many celebrity liberals have you seen get arrested in a foreign country while bravely maintaining such a detached expression of smug self-satisfaction?
None. That’s how many.
-At the Venice film festival, when asked about his plans to run for president, Clooney responded ‘Obama is smarter and nicer than anyone you know.’
Only a celebrity liberal of Clooney‘s stature could possibly know the level of smartness or niceness of the people a random Venititian reporter could possibly know.
-To Touch Magazine “I spend at least three or four hours a day in the bathroom. Being sexy day and night is a big responsibility. And I like taking it!”
Remember this, being a world saving celebrity liberal means nothing, and I mean nothing, if you don’t look sexy while you’re doing it.
-And finally, this gem from Clooney‘s March 18th, 2012 appearance on Meet the Press:
“If Obama were a Republican he’d be considered very successful.”
Of course! Because Republicans love other Republicans who employ Marxist tactics to destroy the world’s greatest nation.
This is what it takes to be a top three celebrity liberal.
However, despite Clooney‘s level of skill, accomplishments, sexiness, and current popularity, my gut feeling is that #3 is as high as he’ll ever rise. He’s a true celebrity liberal powerhouse but I believe he may lack the steam rolling nastiness needed to slam his way to the very pinnacle of this list, to do that, it takes a jaw shattering level of horrifying liberal belligerence that can only emanate from the darkest pits of the blackest souls.
This leads us to…
Yes. You knew he was coming and here he is. Over the past ten years, Maher has set the gold standard for celebrity liberalism, and instead of discussing Maher here, I will simply refer you to my earlier piece titled “Bill Maher and HBO: A Sad Story”. If you haven’t read it yet, enjoy.
However, despite all of Maher‘s accomplishments, sub human character deformities, and liberal meglaomaniaism, who is it that could possibly be one step beyond Maher?
It is now with tremendous honor that I unveil Punching the Left’s number one ranked celebrity liberal…
Alec Baldwin is the current undisputed heavyweight champion of celebrity liberals. He is a sheer force of sanctimonious terror that not even the demonic Maher can go toe to toe with. And while Maher couldn’t physically intimidate a malnourished flea, Baldwin is the last person on this list, other than Behar, you’d want to run into in a dark alley.
The most uniquely outstanding characteristic of Alec Baldwin is that as his celebrity liberalism grew angrier and more demented over the years, so did his physical appearance. This is clearly an unholy symbol of the man’s commitment to celebrity liberalism and the bizarre transformation of his once fit body and leading man good looks to that of a jowly, rectangular shaped blob is a sacrificial metamorphosis never before seen by a celebrity liberal.
In fact, before Baldwin truly unleashed his Republican hating fervor on America, he was relatively quiet about his political discontent. Fascinatingly though, at about the same time his box office numbers began to wane, the Clinton years came to an end, and thanks to the election of George W. Bush, Baldwin pulled himself up of the canvas and stunningly emerged as the wrecking ball of celebrity liberalism that we have all come to know and fear (or at least laugh at). Like the phoenix rising from the ashes, Baldwin would then go onto unleash a level of demented progressive fire upon the Bush administration that would once again, thrust his name into the liberal media spotlight.
Here are just a few of Baldwin’s quotes concerning the Bush administration during this historic celebrity liberal time period:
-“Bush wasn’t elected, he was selected – selected by five judges up in Washington who voted along party lines.”
Excellent demonstration of celebrity liberalism here. Notice how Baldwin boldly ignores the fact that if Gore had won, it would have been the same way Bush did. Very impressive.
-“Everything that Bush touches turns to manure in public policy.”
I like this. Baldwin is straight to the point and creates an image, both simplistic and crass enough, that other liberals can easily relate to and understand.
-“Cheney is a terrorist. He terrorizes our enemies abroad and innocent citizens here at home indiscriminately.”
-Yes, without celebrity liberal question, Dick Cheney’s true goal as the nation’s vice president was to terrorize America’s own citizens. Once again, Alec’s left of center intuition demonstrates that it knows no bounds.
Thus, during these eight years, Baldwin more than established himself as a truly formidable celebrity liberal; however, it was after Bush left office that the king of Saturday Night Live guest appearances really started to separate himself from the pack.
How did he do this? Well, with Bush relatively out of the picture, Baldwin needed a new conservative nemesis and he found one in nationally syndicated radio host and FOX news anchor, Sean Hannity.
Let’s looks a just some of Baldwin’s more
deranged brilliant quotes about Mr. Hannity:
-From his contributing column in the Huffington Post “Hannity, a McCarthy-esque figure in American media, but without McCarthy’s influence or audience…”
Ah, very good. Alec proves here that besides being a master of the modern methods of celebrity liberal attack strategies (such as his relentless hate fueled “tweets” about Republicans), he also possesses a firm command of the more classic liberal tactics such as blindly accusing those with an opposing view point of “McCarthyism.”
-From the same column ‘Hannity is a political pornographer.’
A fascinating curve ball thrown by Baldwin since I would imagine that if Alec himself were called some form of pornographer he would consider it to be a compliment.
-And finally, in a heated debate with Hannity, referred to the FOX news analyst as a “no-talent, ex construction worker hack.”
Priceless. In a single sentence, Baldwin manages to accuse one of the nation’s most thoughtful and sincere political commentators of possessing no talent, while at the same time, demeaning construction workers.
That is, my friends, a world class celebrity liberal.
In fact, the battle rages on between the two to this very day, and has even taken a fascinating twist with Alec’s younger brother, Stephen Baldwin, a born again Christian conservative, friend of Hannity‘s, and seemingly extremely likable fellow being caught in the fray. This actually lead to Stephen calling up Hannity‘s show and pleading with the host to not respond to the childish verbal taunts his brother was unleashing via all forms of media. Steven even went as far to say the we all need to pray for his big brother and that Alec would certainly be furious with him for calling up Hannity‘s show.
Once again, only a celbrity liberal of Alec’s magnitude could not only successfully wage a futile war with America’s number one conservative talk show host, but at the same time, completely alienate his own brother while doing it. Simply stunning.
Now, up until this point, just these accomplishments alone would be enough to garner Alec a place in the top three on this list; however, the star of 30 Rock has proved capable of so much more. This including, but by no means limited to:
-A laughably short stint as a radio talk host on the liberal satellite station, Air America, which included Alec all but begging people to call in (no one did).
-A historically infamous celebrity liberal moment when he was kicked off an American Airlines flight in December of 2011 for refusing to turn off his cell phone and throwing an infantile temper tantrum just before take off.
-And perhaps, most impressively, his endless commercial appearances as the Capital One credit card spokesman while at the same time supporting the finance hating Occupy Wall Street movement.
There is no other celebrity liberal out there today with either Alec Baldwin’s historical body of work or his current accomplishments. This is a man who has done it all. To stumbling and falling out of Hollywood’s money worshiping grace, to rebuilding his career on television in New York and then once again being welcomed back into Hollywood’s embrace. He is a juggernaut of unrepentently nasty celebrity liberalism and shows no signs of slowing down. In fact, with the election year now in full swing, over the coming months, I expect to see Alec soar to celebrity liberal heights never before seen or even thought possible.
And there you have it. Punching the Left’s first every Top Twelve Celebrity Liberal countdown. I’m glad you could join me for this, and remember, there are many celebrities, and there are many liberals, but it takes a truly special individual to be a Punching the Left Celebrity Liberal!
Copyright 2012 Spencer Wolfe
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